I miss.. blogging.

I wanted to start a new blog on wordpress, but I don't remember the name of it at all. I know there's a link of it somewhere.. for now I'm going to update on good ol' Vacanna blog! It's not going to be all about food, because though food is a very important part of my world, it's not the only thing I think about.. and want to share about.

I miss the blogging world. It's good way keep your memories. Memories are unreliable; they depend on one's interpretation and in time they fade. Having a place to archive what you think, do and feel is very valuable and helps one reflect upon themselves.

EATS
Lately eats have been normal. Eat whatever, do whatever. Nothing spectacular. I haven't cooked/baked anything in months. Currently, I am more concerned about my eats more than usual because I literally eat whatever I want and I feel like my face is really round.. If I crave for a mocha, I drink a mocha w/ whipped cream. If I want chips, I buy chips. Cookies? Lots of cookies. Mmm lots of chocolate. If I want coffee, I buy coffee. If I want to buy 3 pairs of boots, hell I'd buy them.. HAHA.

PHYSICAL Health
Sometimes I start off at the gym and go strong for a week to a week and a half. I realize that it takes me about 1.5 weeks to train myself to run 3 miles without feeling too bad. Last time this happened was about 3 weeks ago. Then I'd stop because school "gets in the way". This is unacceptable, because I don't really do school work anyway.. I stop doing both.

MENTAL Health
I still dread waking up in the mornings. They always say do something passionate in your life. So far its been zilch. I don't know if it is just me or the environment I live in but if I counted all the days that I go to sleep feeling a) good or b) bad. 4/7 times a week I know I go to sleep feeling bad. When I wake up in the morning the first thing I think about is how bad it felt to sleep last night and how I have to get through my day again.

What I'm going to strive or is some structure in my life. Because when there is no structure, I only get the bare minimum done. (I.E. treading water). How long can I procrastinate my life? I'm turning 22 in a few days and if I read the random blog entries that I keep for the last 5 years or so, I don't see very much growth. (esp in the mental health department)

Here are some short term goals that I should keep daily:
Wake up at 8:00am
Eat breakfast  - cereal + milk  OR toast w/jelly and/or pb + glass milk
Pack lunch + snacks
Pack school stuff + gym clothes
Catch bus, study at school before class
Head to class for 12:30 - 2:30
Stay at school to study/take bus to other campus and study until 6:00pm
Take bus to Bannatyne campus and gym there from 6:00 - 7:00
Phone mom/sister to pick me up at 10:00 - 11:00pm
Take shower, blog, get ready for bed sleep @ 12:00pm

Some struggles about that kind of day is:
a) having the motivation to wake up early

•  My bed varies from 1 - 4am. If I sleep at 4:00, I wake up at 1:00 or 2:00. If I sleep at 1:00, I wake up at 10:30. In reality, I should be able to sleep at 12:00 or 1:00 and wake up at 8:00am no problem.

b) not enough time in the morning

• When I'm in a rush, I can get read in 30 minutes just fine. When I'm not, it can take me 2 hours to leave the house. I should be able to wake up at 8:00 and leave by 8:30. (MOTIVATION!!)

b) too many things to carry (books+laptop+food+gym stuff) is very very heavy. It makes me grumpy..and then I want to go home.

• get a better backpack
• pack less stuff (no laptop, doable)

c) laptop is very distracting during studies and blackberry (BIG distraction)

• keep laptop in bag if I'm not going to use it, or don't bring it at all
• keep blackberry on silent and ignore it. remember goals.

d) I get hungry around 6:00p.m., I want to go home. I need to pack more food since I will be staying late.

e) Studies are boring. Who wants to learn biochem.. I can't do much about this except learn it =(. This course is in the way of my goal (mentally, physically and must surpass this to reach goal of getting a DEGREEEEEEE)

Anyway hope ya'll enjoyed reading about what I think about. I enjoyed writing this.. now that it's 2:00pm, I should get started with my day already. I'll update about my long term goals in another post!